Why Won't They Just Do It My Way?

I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.
-English Professor, Ohio University

Have you ever written a paper and then really, really, really wished you could present it instead of just turn it in, so the teacher could hear it just as you were thinking it? Because obviously they're going to read it wrong, you just know it.

Well, Global midterm? Yeah. Braye is going to read this all not as I say it in my head, and then he is going to think it is ridiculous. And I think they frown upon breaking into a teacher's office while they're grading papers solely to read yours aloud with hand gestures. Hm.

Ok, that's all. Pardon the grumpiness.

Pointless, egotistic update :]

Modesty: The art of encouraging people to find out for themselves how wonderful you are. ~Source Unknown

My note: Or you could just help them out. :]

So that religion test? I got a 96. And he did not exactly hand out the A's. Also, we were talking yesterday about rituals surrounding the ceremonies/rites of passage of death, birth, and marriage, and I actually spoke up and argued my point well enough that he looked stumped, pointed at me, and said, "Good. That's a 10."

So far, I haven't gotten anything back that's not a good grade. Crossing my fingers that it goes like that for everything...wish me luck. Ok, done bragging on myself now.

Wouldn't it be nice if separation of church and state meant no tests in religion class?

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.
-Author unknown

I have my first real college test today, in my Introduction to Religious Studies class. I'm pretty sure it will go well--at least, I hope so--I know all the material, and my suitemate, Kate, who has the class Tuesday-Thursday, said it wasn't as hard as Dr. York portrayed it.

So I'm going to go study my God stuff. And Dawkins (blech), and Marx, and Feuerbacher, and definitions for animism and henotheism...fun, fun, fun. Wish me luck!

Things That Mattered Today

Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage - to move in the opposite direction. ~E.F. Schumacker

Another class, another discussion. It’s so fascinating to be considered knowledgeable and, well, worthy of all these topics. Globalization, terrorism, sustainability, God, good versus evil, economics, beauty, perception, logistics, ethical behavior, responsibility, nuclear power struggles, the role of family, anti-Americanism, consumption, the American dream. And more, much more! There’s so much involved and implicit and understated and understood and then so much misunderstood and overstated and foggy and illogical. Each topic dredges up so many readings…old conversations and classroom discussions…snippets of TV headlines from six, seven, eight years ago and snippets of culture by now much changed…debate, of course. Of course debate! It’s exciting, invigorating. (Even if my 8am International Relations class makes me think wistfully of my bed and my Ethics class makes my eyelids droop sometimes.) This is stuff that matters.

You know what else matters? Stepping out of class at 9:40 to find a cool, sunny world has risen. The light rendering the ivy leaves translucent and making the dew-saturated cobweb glitter. The contrast in this particular scenario, with the red brick arch framing the green leaves and the sparkling web. That matters. The chilly air and the scent of fall in the air and the thick, soft warmth of my sweatshirt on my shoulders. The comforting solidity of the oaks against the sky, and the sun bright in my eyes. The laughter I hear down the path. This matters. And the way the person in front of me holds the door matters. And it matters that out of the four people at whom I smile and say “Good morning!” three respond in kind. And the sudden desire to write something—that matters, too. These things are simple, but these things are beautiful. That’s why they matter.

I think it's because today’s world is awfully complicated and kinda scary and generally unpleasant. “I don’t think today’s news could get any more depressing,” my friend David said after class this morning. And he’s right—it’s not much fun to watch the economy deflate, the Middle East plot ways to blow itself up, and politicians accuse each other of pointless “atrocities.” Learning how undemocratic our country’s elections are…yeah. Not fun. It’s a wonderful world, but it’s not a kind one…the news makes me feel panicky and frightens me. The thing about leaves and flowers and rain boots and smiley faces and warm feet is that even when the rest of the world is tangling itself up in knots, they stay simple. It gives me hope that as long as some things stay happy and good even in the midst of all the chaos, at least something will always be ok. And hope is a really critical thing to have today, I think. Hope and faith and curiosity.

So here’s to the sun shining and the wind snapping out the flag. Maybe life’s not all good, but, you know, it’s more than good enough to be worth it.

College Is Eating My Life

There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.
-Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

Before I left for college, I distinctly remember being told by several people how much more free time I was going to have then I was expecting.

I'm not sure now whether thse people were teasing me, genuinely trying to be helpful, or freshly escaped from mental institutions, but so far they've been dead wrong. Maybe it's an honors fellow thing (that's our house excuse for everything). Anyway, thus far my free time has been very close to zero; in fact, I've got two essays I could be writing right now.

And one of them's due tomorrow, so I think I'd better get to that. I just wanted to mention that I haven't forgotten about my blog, or my correspondence aspirations, or anything. And I'll post more about college life after said college life lets up a little. I promise!

Holes.

Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos. ~Charles M. Schulz

I hate holes. I mean, really hate them.

I like sets. I like ensembles. I like neat-and-tidy, everything-has-a-place. And, see, the thing about everything having its place isn’t just that you’ve got to have the place (which, judging from the organization shows, articles, magazines so prolific in today’s society, is a very common problem)—but also that you’ve got to have the things.

And normally, I do have the things. And the places. I’m pretty fastidious about having places for everything. Each new gift, each purchase—they don’t really feel like they’re mine until I’ve carved a special niche for them. Magazines go in the closet, unless it’s TIME, and then it goes beside Anna’s high chair. Extra buttons go in the old Motrin bottle in the back right corner of my top desk drawer, behind the pens and pencils. Mary Poppins: top bookshelf. Hero and the Crown: middle. Progressions: resting horizontally on the other books on the bottom shelf. There are always three quilts at the food of my bed; Bible and coaster within reach; poetry book and other imminent reading under the bed, which is made. I like the drawers all the way pushed in. The way things in my room stay neat gives me a feeling of peace, a feeling of power. Because I control my room, and if I can make it stay clean, this little square of the world that’s all my own, then I feel that much better about myself. I’m not joking about it being empowering. Plus, I sleep better in a tidy room. Life feels simpler and more manageable when you know that your tchotchkies are in their proper order and that the pictures on your desk are nicely spaced.

The thing I’m having difficulty with is not organizing my college stuff. I’ve enjoyed going shopping; enjoyed stocking and stacking and folding new towels into new Rubbermaid containers. I’m having a hard time, though, taking established citizens of Katherine’s room out of their places and into new territories. It leaves holes. Where my post-it notes are supposed to be in my desk—a hole. The right side of my nightside table—hole. Pictures—hole. Bookshelf—hole, hole, hole. Gaps everywhere. Only one quilt at the foot of my bed. No Mary and Music Bear. I need these things in my dorm room—but it makes me feel sick to think of the holes they’ll leave in my room. Places where something has always been, solid and material and comforting, and where now, something is not. It completely messes up the order of my life.

It reminds me more than I’d like of the ginormous, me-shaped hole I’ll be punching in my family this fall—charmingly manifested by an empty chair at the table between my brothers, a hole-filled room, and a total lack of teenage girl in the family.

I hate big holes.

And I hate little ones, too.

Things I Could Have Been Doing While I Was Not Blogging

I like the word "indolence." It makes my laziness seem classy. ~Bern Williams


1. Turning 18
2. Going psycho on a customer
3. Going psycho on my boyfriend
4. Playing with my new dolls
5. Knitting, crocheting, and other handicrafts
6. Wearing jewelry
7. Eloping
8. Moving to Oklahoma to become the pioneer woman’s apprentice
9. Seriously injuring myself playing Twister
10. Becoming mired in a 3-week game of Risk
11. Helping with Vacation Bible School
12. Getting ready for college

Now, you guess, true or false. Hint: the answers are below.

1. True! I am now of age to buy tobacco products and lottery tickets. I have not bought either, and I don’t intend to ever buy the first, but the fact stands that I could.
2. False. Aren’t you proud of my restraint?
3. Mm…true…but only once. And he really did need the chastising.
4. False! Ha. I bet you were all set to say “true” on that one, but I got you by a technicality. I only have one new doll. So in the plural, that’s incorrect. I did get my beautiful new doll though, yes; her name is Mia and she’s gorgeous and wonderful and I love her. And I played with all of them. And sent my poor Addy to the doll hospital for an out-of-joint leg. But only one technically new doll. Admit it, I got you on that one.
5. Absolutely. And trying to remember the linen stitch, too.
6. Surprisingly true, for somebody who never used to wear jewelry.
7. Hahaha, absolutely not. Just thought I’d throw it in there for giggles.
8. Also untrue, but wouldn’t it be fun?
9. So totally false. Flexibility is completely a plus in Twister, as are long limbs. I win.
10. See, this is why I don’t play Risk. So, it wasn’t 3 weeks. But still, an hour is a while.
11. Mercifully false. Mercifully, mercifully, mercifully.
12. Completely true, sadly and happily.