16 Things

Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth. ~Alan Watts

So, there’s this Facebook chainmail type thing going around (Facebook chains are actually a lot of fun, trust me) called 16 things. Here’s my friend Kate’s, as an example.

“So, 16 things that you may or may not no about me...GO!
1. I miss home more then I ever thought I would being so far away. It's not that I wish I were home, only that I wish home were here :-)
2. I didn't believe in love
3. I complain about people so much more now that I'm at school because when I'm annoyed I have to tell someone and I can no longer tell my mom. I always regret it later.
4. I think that the kids on my hall will do great things someday and I'm so excited for them.
5. If I could take away the pain of all my friends and have it myself I would. The worst thing is watching others suffer, I dont think about it as much when I do.
6. I never realized my sisters looked up to me until I left
7. I like to dance even though I'm terrible at it
8. My group of friends at home saved me, I would be nothing without them
9. My roomate is the coolest person I know
10. Mr. Johnson is the reason I'm majoring in History
11. I think rain is beautiful
12. I hate driving in my car alone
13. Sometimes walking by myself at night is my favorite part of the day
14. I'm obsessed with donating my meal plans to different causes in Mosely
15. I worry about the people I know all the time
16. The music I'm listening to will tell you exactly how I'm feeling”

You’re supposed to tag 16 people when you’re done, and then they’re supposed to do it or at least look at it. I’ve been tagged now like three times (including by Kate) and would like to do it, except that I honestly can’t think of 16 people I really want to tag, and I’m not going to tag people I don’t really want to tag, and I’m not going to post it if I don’t have 16 tagged people, because that is a loser move, and I’d rather not be a loser. Plus I can’t manage to be succinct enough to feel right about posting it all on Facebook. So I decided I’d post it here, instead. :]

1. I love analyzing myself, and I’m very good at it. I understand myself completely—strengths, weaknesses, flaws, quirks, loves, hates, personality (I’m an INTJ and it fits me EXACTLY), dynamics—but I can’t for the life of me explain myself. But I do like talking about myself...sorry. :]
2. I’m something of a compulsive worrywart. I’m not sure from which parent this stemmed (probably more Mama than Daddy) but it doesn’t really matter. Natural disasters still scare me worse than almost anything else. So naturally, I do my huge Global Experience project on them. Told you I couldn’t explain myself.
3. I am often happiest when I am doing something completely irreconcilable with normal life. For instance, I just got back from a trip outside (to my car), where it’s miraculously warm and gray and windy and the leaves are skittering over the sidewalk. To give you an idea of how I looked while doing this, I have on jeans and my red Elon sweatshirt, hair in a ponytail, not a trace of makeup, bright fuscia socks, and black flats (I was wearing my loafers earlier, but I didn’t feel like having to tie laces. The fuscia and the red clashed horribly, and I wish I could say that I cared, but clashing is an occasional hobby of mine). And my iPod in. So I lip-synched “Drops of Jupiter” all the way to my car, grinning, twirling, skipping, swinging my phoenix card/keys and walking jouncily so my ponytail would bounce. There were people around, and I probably looked ridiculous. I could’ve cared less. See, it’s these moments that are just so lovely and bubbly-feeling that make me the happiest. It’s kinda like how David and I used to go out and do completely random things (dance on the beach; run around and sing “On Top of the World” in the rain at the Kitty Hawk memorial) and not care at all that we looked retarded because we were having so much fun.
4. By the way, I really love the wind. And the rain, too.
5. I hate seeing the word I in my papers like a bajillion times. It makes me wonder just how egocentric I really am.
6. Words are oxygen; words are a heartbeat. Because if you can’t describe something in some way or communicate it (even to yourself), then can you really even feel it? Does it matter anymore? Words are ocular, olfactory, auditory, gustatory, and tactile, and they are my life.
7. I am amazed at how well movement and sight and sound and color and scent and weather and lighting—how I love lighting!—and people can combine to make life the way it is. It’s like God’s ultimate multimedia project, and it’s glorious.
8. I collect dolls, especially Madame Alexander and especially especially American Girl dolls. It’s not because I didn’t get to have a childhood; it’s not because I have any sort of disorder or weird unfinished business in my subconscious. It’s because they’re beautiful and they were incredibly important to me when I was growing up and I love their personalities and going back to their histories and the way they can fit anything (Princesses? Sure. Fairies? No problem. Historical? Well, obviously. Imaginary world? They love it. Modern day CIA thriller? That too. And I can put all of these elements together at once, too—yeah, it’s a talent. ;-p) and their lovely clothes and fixing their hair and setting them up in realistic tableaus and making them live out the storylines I create. They never stop smiling and they never get bored of me. I actually seriously considered trying to be a doll stylist/photographer for the AG Company when I was about 12 or 13. I would be good at it, but I can’t condone many of the AG Company’s practices since Mattel took over, and so it’s obviously not happening.
9. If I do not have time to myself, I will eventually snap. I am not a people person and I do not like being obligated to deal with a lot of people at once and when I am ready to stop being social, I am ready to stop being social right then. I’m much the same way with shopping; just ask my mother.
10. Having said that, I like to talk and I like to think that I’ve gotten much better at talking to people in general. And also better at controlling myself and just dealing with whatever I don’t want to do. It’s a work in progress.
11. Thinking is such a gift. I love it. How do people even begin to justify killing brain cells with drugs and alcohol when they could have that much more room in their minds to be thinking of interesting things?!?!? Haha, you can probably tell that I basically love school. Not work. Not getting up early. But I definitely love class. A small bit of teacher approval can have me flying high for an entire week.
12. I write down quotes from my teachers, friends, classmates, family…if somebody says something funny or something I think has enough intrinsic worth that I’d like to remember it, I preserve it. That’s what I do; that’s who I am. I also take too many pictures. You could say I collect moments.
13. Loud is good, and quiet is good, too. Just at their appropriate times. (And I’ll admit that I’m not always very good at judging the appropriate times when it comes to being in public. I just know when I want to be quiet or obnoxiously loquacious.) After all, if life is ultimately some sort of grand symphony, you can’t forget the dynamics.
14. It irritates me to no end that I have to sign into my Elon email every. single. time. I want to use it. But then, I’m easily irritated. I hide it well. I think.
15. I love pickles, Dr. Pepper, Slurpees, Italian casserole, chicken-and-rice soup, homemade bread, sweet tea, lemonade, pumpkin pie, carrot cake, cheesecake, mint-chocolate-chip ice cream, hazelnuts, and chili best of everything to eat in the world. And, with the exception of goods like pickles (which must be the big, juicy kind I used to get at my brothers’ baseball games), mint-chocolate-chip ice cream, Dr. Pepper, and Slurpees, everything must be made at 3849 Herbert Perry Road, or it’s just not quite the same.
16. Old (or old-fashioned) is better than new in basically every case except Christmas presents and technology. (Because I doubt I could live happily without the Internet—Facebook, YouTube, iTunes, email, the news—for more than a week, sad to say.)
17. (Because I’m an English major and therefore can’t count, I shan’t be indicted for an extra point or two.) I have a horrible sense of direction and I am dependent on my GPS. People who know me will have heard the stories. But I’m getting better, honestly. I’m learning all about road signs and the interstate system, and it’s actually really cool.
18. I love my family and am tremendously attached to my hometown. Some people say they have “strings” or “ties” to home? I’ve got ropes. Thick ropes. Like, heavy duty pirate-worthy ropes. I miss my family much more than I let on. (I also miss dance.)
19. (Or three) Harry Potter is better than Twilight, but Twilight is still pretty awesome. The two can coexist in harmony, honestly. C’mon, think how much the fanfiction would be! (Sorry, can’t help it. I used to be a rabid Harry Potter fan.) Neither is as good as The Princess Bride (yes, there’s a book) or The Phantom Tollbooth or Alice in Wonderland or The Wizard of Oz or Spindle’s End or like a million billion more. But they’re probably about equal with Percy Jackson and Artemis Fowl. Don’t get me wrong, I love modern fairytales, and my life would not be the same without them—still, respect the classics, folks! (Oh, and by the way? Disney may have been anti-Semitic, chauvinist, and racist. I don’t care. Disney is classic and I love it and I wish people would stop looking for negative elements in the movies that really don’t detract from the movie itself and are really relatively harmless. Beauty and the Beast is the best thing ever. /rant.)
20. (Or four. Really, 16 is an awfully random number. 20 is much better.) Sometimes I think I would’ve done a lot better socially and perhaps been happier in a different era. But then I think about how much I love this one and how much rides on my generation, and I realize that I can probably do the most good here.
21. (Ok, I promise to stop after this) I love country music, and I don’t understand why so many people don’t like it. Is it a crime to have lyrics you can actually UNDERSTAND and maybe feel moderately HAPPY about? I’m going to blog about this in the future. In the meantime, as long as you don’t force your alternative junk on me, I’ll keep my country to myself. For the record, I also love computer shortcuts, my iPod, knitting, socks, staying up till 3am doing nothing but chatting with my roommate/suitemates, and index cards. Just in case you were wondering.